Does anyone know how to pick up their phone any more???!! 
Saturday, March 18, 2006, 11:18 PM
So for the past week I have been trying to contact three separate people who are involved in this film - I have rang mobile phones, sent text messages and left voicemails, but no one has picked up or replied. Which leaves me to consider two possibilities - either no one likes me (which I highly suspect to be true), or that people have forgotten how to answer their phones - either conclusion leads me to the following request, answer your funking phones!

The entries are rapidly becoming vanity cards for me, and you shall probably be reading a post which is absolutely about nothing before long, but before that, I have some minor news - we will tomorrow morning be meeting with a very nice chap who hopefully will be able to offer us some sage advice about many aspects of this film, so watch this space - there could be some important news soon.

I feel the need to at least somewhere put a joke in my entries, but at the risk of being repetitive and predictable I shall try very hard to avoid putting one in this post, especially at the end.

Governor Schwarzenegger.

Luke "Jeff Garlin" Morgan-Rowe

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"Questions, Mr. Wayne? My work raises too many questions?"... 
Saturday, March 11, 2006, 07:04 PM
Q: Are you going to be going for the look Max Payne had in the first or in the second Max Payne [game]?
A: If you're referring to the look of the character, you'll have to wait and see. But if you're referring to the look of the overall game, I'd say an amalgamation between the two.

Q: Will it [the film] be released on video, in theatres, or over the internet?
A: As stated in the interview I did with, the film will be released worldwide online, free of charge, and at selected cinemas in the United Kingdom. The film will not be available to purchase.

Q: Would you post a picture of Max Payne?
A: Photos of the actors / characters will be available on the official site in the not too distant future... I hope. *Crosses fingers*

Q: How does Max Payne look in this film?
A: "Maxey".

Q: A MAX PAYNE flick?
A: Yes, Sir! :)

Q: Who is John Mangan anyway?
A: John Mangan is a very accomplished actor who is playing the role of the antagonist (the bad guy) in this story.

Q: Will it [the film] be the same as the game?
A: Well it won't be made up from wire meshes and textures, if that's what you mean! :P OK. I'll stop larking around. As quoted from the interview I did with, "Being an original story, the movie is a stand-alone affair and does not tread on the toes of the stories in either Max Payne 1 or 2.".
Hope these answer a few of your queries.

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A slightly friendlier post from your unfriendlier EP... 
Tuesday, March 7, 2006, 11:19 PM
Just a quick update, so you stop flooding the site's inbox with questions (really, 16000 in one day is just too many).

Having unfortunately lost our set builder to the savage hand of an orthopoedic knee surgeon (he didn't die, just to clarify, he had a knee replacement) we have FINALLY confirmed who is going to build our set - none other than Hollywood's hottest prospect, Dewi "Riggs" Morgan! He's figured out the best way to build it, so it's now with us to source all the materials.

The location still poses a problem - we need somewhere with adequate space, free time, power and free-ness, and to be honest, the best option looks to be a school in Surrey, with which I have some sway - so watch this space for confirmations soon.

Keep poppin' those pills people, oh and check out - well worth looking at the look-a-like page.

Luke "Jeff Garlin" Morgan-Rowe.

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Interview with the Director... 
Wednesday, March 1, 2006, 04:20 PM
Afternoon, peeps!

For all you inquisitive minds, here is an excerpt of the interview I did with PayneReactor on the 14th of Febuary...

Q: What's the estimated runtime of the film?
A: The film will be around 15 minutes long, but is part of a much bigger story.

Q: What format are you shooting on?
A: We are shooting on Hi-Def, la Sin City. It allows us a lot more control in the long run, and is a HELL of a lot cheaper than film! :)

Q: Is there already a release date planned?
A: We're hoping to release the film in the Summer (2006), but no actual release date has been confirmed as of yet.

Q: What kind of a release is the film going to have?
A: The film will be released worldwide online, free of charge, and at selected cinemas in the United Kingdom.

Q: Will the film be available to purchase?
A: No, as that would be copyright infringement, and copyright infringement is baaaad. We will not be making any profits from this film.

Q: What's the story of the film?
A: Well, it's an original story... I can tell you that much. :)
You can read the rest of the interview here.

Stay frosty,

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A friendly note from your unfriendly EP... 
Monday, February 27, 2006, 08:50 PM

Luke Morgan-Rowe here, or as I like to be called "Mr Executive Producer, SIR" - yes indeed, your over weight exec prod - the only difference between that and just producer, is that I get to wear a suit.

So I thought I'd do a quick run down on where we are at the moment, and give a quick summary of some of the people who have reluctantly become entrapped in this process of film making:

Writer & Director - Fergle "Surg" Gibson. Well, if only you knew... Oh, ok I'll give you a bit. Having sat in with him whilst he's been writing this script, I have officially been able to submit a new definition of "perfectionist" to the OED. I have quite often been concerned about the possibility of stroking out whilst he racks his mind for another word for 'cat' (feline, cheetah, mog etc) before settling on 'cat'. He comes up with more ideas than a think-tank on speed, and I find myself nodding illusively more often than George W's advisors sitting through a 'how to deal with the middle east' symposium. One day, we might actually make this film, but that'll only be when Harry Enfield ties him to a chair and shouts "Oi, Director, NOOOOO!". He's like all the bad parts of Kubrick, Allen & Kilmer combined in an unfortunate pseudo-robot programmed with Larry David's personality, but the worrying thing is that he's actually rather good, and MP fans are in for one hell of a film.

Max Payne - We have cast a man, Nigel "Nigel Ben Paul Billing" Billing. That's all you're getting, because it's a surprise.

The Femme Fatale - Kylie "The Cush" Cushman is a tall, blonde, very talented and stunning actress who perfectly fills the boots of your traditional noir femme fatale.

The Baddie - John "Ming" Mangan is a true gem - he's immensely experienced, and we're very fortunate to have him involved. He has that presence, that dark, brooding presence which will I have no doubt make a most devilish villain.

(2) Other interesting nibblets:

The rate-limiting step thus far has been the set - we're still debating the various options, and thus we have yet to confirm a location, much to the chagrin of everyone involved - I would apologise, but I won't because we need to get this exactly right. Dewi "Riggs" Morgan, our production assistant, or as he likes to be called "The Reluctant Help" has been truly invaluable and hopefully, following a discussion with him this weekend, we should be able to confirm stuff - but don't hold your breath...

That's enough from me for now - I'll be keeping you up-to-date with news from my end as we progress. Oh, and no, you can't have a picture of Nigel.

Luke "Jeff Garlin" Morgan-Rowe.

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