I am most not-ly pleased... 
Thursday, April 13, 2006, 10:18 PM
Good evening, Good morning, Good night and Good afternoon (I think I've covered most, however if you can think of a time frame/zone/thing I've missed out, then shove it).

Have you heard of Wikipedia (damn American spelling!!)? Have you heard of Wikipedia? Have you heard of Wikipedia? Have you heard of Wikipedia? I ask three times because I want you to think long and hard about the answer - the answer being "no".

Wikipedia is a website that no longer exists for me, and thence for you - my loyal and subservient fans. You see, they pissed me off. They have decided to "nominate for deletion" our page on this film, because, well, they're stuck-up wankers. Their anal sphincters are wound so tightly, they would make the green party proud. In fact, they make the labour party's "Centre for Political Correctness" look like the neo nazis enjoying a BBC news bulletin reporting the latest suicide bombing-nutter's last good bye in a bar in Jerusalem. Fancy that, that's the second time I've mentioned sphincters in as many posts - people will start to think... (if you want to know their reason why the page has been nominated for deletion, visit the site and post your objection).

Silly Mr Webmaster has ruined one of my things as well - damn these people ruining things for me!!! See, I mentioned in my last post that there wouldn't be any promotional photos because I wanted to sound like a cool football manager who denies everything despite them being true, but sodding Mr Webmaster had to go and put a link on the homepage to the up coming promotional photos - so there you go, to think that I was going to give you all a surprise... oh well, I guess I'll have to think of something else...

So, decided yesterday that there's not going to be a film.

Love you all, peace to the holy lord and funk off,

Luke "Jeff Garlin" Morgan-Rowe
Sexy Executive Producer.

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Wikipedia & IMDB... 
Saturday, April 8, 2006, 07:02 PM
Good evening, comrades.

Seeing as IMDB rejected us a total of, let's see... FIVE times (OK, I may be overreacting a little... They rejected us ONCE after we submitted the film with hardly any certifiable information, but this is what us Brits call "SARCASM", people!), check out our cool and spanky Wikipedia page here, which is now up for deletion... Oooh, don't we like to be controversial.

According to IMDB, a film of this nature has to have either been completed and released to the general public, or have preponderant evidence that it WILL be completed and released in the near future, otherwise they will not allow it to be submitted to their database... Which is fair enough, I guess.

Happy hunting,

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So it turns out that Hawaiian Shirts are like Champagne... 
Sunday, April 2, 2006, 04:34 AM
...they have to be from Hawaii to be authentic - ooooo, la-di-da.

So it falls to me, as the Bard would say, 'the man who caneth', to quash the circulating rumours that a series of promotional photos are soon to be released featuring the cast. I can assure you that there are no photos soon to be released. Hmmm...

Where are we with the f*cking set, I hear you sclamber (I've been making words up all week)? Well, I received an email from our most punchable of directors in the week describing a 'revelation' which I am not at liberty to reveal - suffice it to say that the email contained many exclamation marks and more capital letters than London post. This revelation, however, is most interesting and may make our lives a lot easier in terms both the location and the need to build a set. This made me VERY happy, and alas I did not want to punch our director, instead like the bursting bladder to the relaxing sphincter, I wanted to express my relief with extraordinary sincerity.

It is widely known that I am not known for my acts of general niceness or generosity, however due to the mounting pressure and my reluctance to care one way or the other, if you want to spoil the surprise, voici a link to a picture of The Nigel (our Max Payne).

Enjoy losers!

Luke "Jeff Garlin" Morgan-Rowe

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Does anyone know how to pick up their phone any more???!! 
Saturday, March 18, 2006, 11:18 PM
So for the past week I have been trying to contact three separate people who are involved in this film - I have rang mobile phones, sent text messages and left voicemails, but no one has picked up or replied. Which leaves me to consider two possibilities - either no one likes me (which I highly suspect to be true), or that people have forgotten how to answer their phones - either conclusion leads me to the following request, answer your funking phones!

The entries are rapidly becoming vanity cards for me, and you shall probably be reading a post which is absolutely about nothing before long, but before that, I have some minor news - we will tomorrow morning be meeting with a very nice chap who hopefully will be able to offer us some sage advice about many aspects of this film, so watch this space - there could be some important news soon.

I feel the need to at least somewhere put a joke in my entries, but at the risk of being repetitive and predictable I shall try very hard to avoid putting one in this post, especially at the end.

Governor Schwarzenegger.

Luke "Jeff Garlin" Morgan-Rowe

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"Questions, Mr. Wayne? My work raises too many questions?"... 
Saturday, March 11, 2006, 07:04 PM
Q: Are you going to be going for the look Max Payne had in the first or in the second Max Payne [game]?
A: If you're referring to the look of the character, you'll have to wait and see. But if you're referring to the look of the overall game, I'd say an amalgamation between the two.

Q: Will it [the film] be released on video, in theatres, or over the internet?
A: As stated in the interview I did with PayneReactor.com, the film will be released worldwide online, free of charge, and at selected cinemas in the United Kingdom. The film will not be available to purchase.

Q: Would you post a picture of Max Payne?
A: Photos of the actors / characters will be available on the official site in the not too distant future... I hope. *Crosses fingers*

Q: How does Max Payne look in this film?
A: "Maxey".

Q: A MAX PAYNE flick?
A: Yes, Sir! :)

Q: Who is John Mangan anyway?
A: John Mangan is a very accomplished actor who is playing the role of the antagonist (the bad guy) in this story.

Q: Will it [the film] be the same as the game?
A: Well it won't be made up from wire meshes and textures, if that's what you mean! :P OK. I'll stop larking around. As quoted from the interview I did with PayneReactor.com, "Being an original story, the movie is a stand-alone affair and does not tread on the toes of the stories in either Max Payne 1 or 2.".
Hope these answer a few of your queries.

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