Fix it in post... 
Monday, April 23, 2007, 11:06 PM
Well, I've been pressured into writing here, apparently it's "my responsibility as associate producer" or somesuch. And I try hard to be a good assprod, so I'll be trying to slip you all as many hard facts and juicy tidbits past the censors as I can. Don't expect spoilers, they wouldn't let me do that, but I should at least be able to give you some numbers, names, status updates and random trivia. The idea is that I post every day or two until the "something long awaited and very cool" gets here. Yes, we want it faster, too. No, I can't make it happen faster, it's like a pizza delivery: it'll come when it comes.

Back when the project was little more than some informal handshake-agreements and a twinkle in our eyes, I started hearing a phrase: "fix it in post".

That worried me. When I was a child, my family moved to Greece, where my father worked in the building trade. Explaining why the walls on the island had not one straight edge or rightangle, he said that the people laying the foundations left it to the bricklayers to straighten things up; the bricklayers left it to the plasterers; and the plasterers left it to the painters. Nobody accepted that stuff was their problem.

So... what if we got Max' badge number or design wrong, only to discover the correct way later? "Fix it in post". What if we used a clearly non-American prop without realising? "Fix it in post." What if... "Fix it in post."

Even though it was usually used tongue-in-cheek, the speaker knowing that the thing being discussed would be a right bugger to fix in post, we all argued strenuously against such a seductive idea. Even joking about it might let that idea stick. There's no earthly way the film could be perfect, but clearly, the less we have to fix, the closer it will be in the end.

The others felt the same: if we want to get close to perfection, we have to aim for it, not aim for 80% of perfect, then hope to paint over the cracks at the end.

So every detail is as right as we can make it; badges, coins, electrical fittings... it's a lot more of a big deal here in the UK where everything is so subtly-different, and the temptation is to just use UK electrical fittings and hide them, use UK coins out of focus, and so on. But no.

We had to consider things like... does the US have a standard handedness for the hot and cold taps? They drive on the other side of the road, and have clearly different makes of car, so any shot of a vehicle, a road, a sign (not only do roadsigns look different, they face the other way!), or even a rack-n-pinion steering system was a problem. Fortunately, in this episode, only the last was even close to being an issue.

Every single item on set had to be checked over. That rusty can of screws being used for colour: does it have a metric thread? A piece of electrical equipment displayed the British Standards Institute kitemark - something so ubiquitous to us that we only just caught it. Even if we used hidden switches, the actors would have to be careful that their habitual motions wouldn't reveal their Britishness: because British light-switches work the other way up.

Any visible labels had to be checked for clearly British makes, or for British spelling. A can of "varnish" would be OK... but not a can of "Ronseal Varnish", nor a can of "wood colouring".

Given it was somewhat of an outside shoot in the countryside, we had to ask ourselves, about every plant in shot - "is this a plant that would be unlikely to be seen in this area of the US at this time of year? And if it would be seen, should it be flowering or budding or whatever, rather than what it's doing now?" This was fun because none of us really knows anything about plants. But some viewers will.

I overheard a conversation:

"What's that?"

"Um... grass?"

"But is it AMERICAN grass?"

"I dunno. It's green and pointy. What does American grass look like?"

"It's got seeds on. Does American grass do that this time of year? Is it acting American enough?"

"Well, if you're worried, I can make it a little tiny stetson to wear. And we can get it some voice training..."

I am not sure how they decided to deal with the grass in the end - I don't think it was ever even in shot.

MaxTrivia: there were some props that we just couldn't get in time. Over here, there is a common perception that US-sized beer bottles are dinky little things for girly-men, but all we could do was go around the local bars and ask for their empties: the bottles you may see in the floor in some shots may therefore be slightly the wrong size. They also caused us any number of headaches in continuity as they kept getting kicked and rolling about, so they're probably a good thing to watch for continuity bloopers, if you're into that.

Dewi Morgan,
Associate Producer.
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A few updates... 
Sunday, March 25, 2007, 11:49 PM
Evenin' troops,

First off, the poster on the front page now reads "2007"... This is because we're not in the year 2006 anymore, and in case anyone wasn't paying attention, we sort of missed that estimated release date anyway.

Secondly, something long awaited and very cool is coming your way soon...


Fergle "Larry David" Gibson,
Writer & Director.

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I'm no Vista... 
Monday, February 12, 2007, 05:44 PM
...I'm not even a Service Pack. At best, I might be described as a Critical Security Update for Internet Explorer.

Mac users, you are excused for not having a clue what I am on about - I'm just impressed that you can even read this!

(that was a 'Mac-users-are-stupid' joke - oh well, at least there's only 2 of them to get offended...)

Now of course, all of my PC compadres will clued up as to what I'm on about - I'm talking about Updates of course! I was comparing the updates I have for you to Windows updates. Ok, ok, you can stop laughing now.

My leeches, your comments are mighty scornful. With each one I read, a tear falls from my eye onto my thumb. I am then forced to flick it off my thumb, using a standard 'clicking' technique, which as we all learned from Bono & Bob, causes an African child to die. So please, for the sake of the children, stop posting comments that make me cry!

So you want an update? Here's one - nothing. Independent films take time, because they run into trials and tribbles. We might have a trailer out for you soon, but I can't guarantee anything yet. What I can guarantee you is that it will be released, quicker than Duke Nukem, but it will take time - in the mean of which, though, if you find yourself getting chafed, click this link, print out and remember that good things come to those who wait...

Yours disappointed to learn that Cameron Diaz in fact has no breasts,
Luke "Jeff Garlin" Morgan-Rowe
Producer what thinks that Papua New Guinea is an island shaped a bit like a dinosaur.

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Article on Payne & Redemption in UK gaming magazine PC Zone... 
Saturday, January 20, 2007, 07:19 PM
Hey guys,

This totally slipped my mind due to everything that's going on at the moment, but there is an article on Payne & Redemption and an excerpt from an interview I did with editor Pavel Barter on page 19 of the UK gaming magazine PC Zone (Issue 177) on shelves now, priced £5.99...

Yeesh... I remember when PC mags were around £2-3... But you know what Alan at WHSmith said? "You know what this is? The world's smallest violin..."

So anyway... Show your support and pick yourselves up a copy!

Fergle "Larry David" Gibson,
Writer & Director.

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And now a word from El Directorio... 
Friday, January 5, 2007, 12:37 PM
A lot of you are wondering why there haven't been any major updates recently, why we didn't wish anyone a merry Christmas, why there wasn't any Javascript snow falling from the top of the page, and... well... mainly why nothing appears to be happening with the film! And I don't blame ya...

Since wrapping, producer Luke-Morgan-Rowe has been admitted to a high-security mental asylum (where they still allow him access to the internet - idiots), DP Piers Leigh ran off to France with his secretary and is now selling Marlboro Lights to Catholic school girls, and as for me... well, I've become an alcoholic and spend most of my days pondering over which gauge shotgun cartridge would make the most interesting artistic pattern of my own brain matter on the wall behind - something, at least, Tracy Emin would be proud of. So, all in all, life is pretty good and things are progressing as we thought they would.

However, the real reason why there haven't been any updates is because, well... there are no updates. None. Zip. Zero. No enchilada - Nahmean?

We are all working as hard as we can to ensure Max Payne: Payne & Redemption is cut, coloured, washed, blow-dried & styled to the highest of standards, and we will NOT rush it for any cause. Films like these cost a lot of money, they take a lot of time and effort, but above all, they require a lot of PATIENCE... And believe me when I say, we all want to release this film as much as you guys want to see it! So stay tuned, have faith, and you won't be disappointed - I promise.

I'd also like to say, we really appreciate all the kind comments & e-mails we receive from everyone around the world, and we do try and reply to all of your e-mails, but due to the high volume of messages we receive and because of how busy things are at the moment with the film, we can't always reply to everyone... Just know that you are not being ignored and we are very grateful for your support.

All the best,

Fergle "Larry David" Gibson,
Writer & Director.

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