Back from the photo-shoot!... 
Thursday, July 20, 2006, 04:15 PM
OK, mis amigos...

Instead of waffling on about some inconsequential, self-righteous, totally-unrelated-to-the-film bollocks to bulk out what would otherwise be a dull, drier-than-the-Sahara-Desert post (not mentioning any names), I’ll get straight to the point.

We're back from the photo-shoot! And what a gruelling, but thoroughly pleasing day it turned out to be! Gruelling because I sat down once within a 6 hour timeframe, and that was only in the car on the way back. I'd recently twisted my Achilles tendon by falling through a large hedge whilst being incredibly drunk and thinking about Scarlett Johansson... Oh, how responsible am I? And I don't even drink!... Often.

The day of the photo-shoot started pretty positively, with me getting around 4 hours of sleep the night before, then rushing around like a chicken with its head cut off, trying to make sure I had everything on my check-list.

Weapons... Check.

Costumes... Check.

Cyanide... Yup!

We had a few hiccups along the way, and not everything went as planned, but there again, does it ever?... "Welcome to the world of film-making", John Mangan gleefully intimated, smiling smugly at me through the reflection of himself in the mirror whilst caressing a Colt 1911 like a new-born baby. Which reminds me, where DID my damn shot-list get to?

* Note to self: Must learn to think more efficiently on my feet in times of total f**k-ups and sleep deprivation.

All in all, the day was very successful, with cast & crew being on top form, enthused, and FULL of inspiration. We took as many pictures in as many scenarios as we could within the allotted time, and packed up and left before you could say "Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers". I believe we made no enemies that day, either... But this was most likely due to me signing my cheque book what seemed like every 5 minutes...

So! "When can we see the pictures?", I hear you ask. All in due time, my friends. All in due time.


Stay tooned,
Fergle "Larry David" Gibson,
Writer & Director, with more mite than dyna.

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'Yo, Blair, they've got to stop doing this shit" 
Wednesday, July 19, 2006, 11:11 PM

Jeez, I mean who'd have thought that the leaders of the free world would talk about us?

It turns out that Gee Dubbelyer and Tony B Liar were talking, seeming unaware of the microphone, about the success of the official photoshoot we did on Tuesday - they're slightly concerned, you see, that our success (after sucess, after success etc) makes them look bad - alas there is no need, George, as there is nothing that could paint you in a negative light - you are marvelous and wonderful in ways never previously encountered. Tone, on the otherhand, well, don't get me started.....


Enough politiks.

What's that? Again, my ears are burning as I can hear you asking "What photoshoot?! You never told us about that?!"

Well yes I did! Subtly, in a previous post.

So anyway, it went very well - like a well oiled fish - ran as smoothly as a one legged german. Thanks mainly to yours truly, producer of the century.

We should be able to release the pictures shortly - well saying that, if you know our director, you'll know that the word "shortly" doesn't apply that often. He'll be editing, perfecting, touching up and fucking up for months and you'll be more likely to see a new Steven Segal film in the cinema than these pictures - but hell, we did it and that counts for something.

Anywho, I think Mr Director will be posting the gay version of this post shortly "everyone was fabulous" "we all gelled wonderfully" etc etc, so look out for that. :-\\

For those who are a little concerned about my use of "smileys" today, don't be concerned - I discovered them today like a young boy discovering dirt, i.e. very excitedly, but hopefully I'll grow out of them soon - well unless I'm called Dewi.....;-)

Peaches & cream,
Luke "Jeff Garlin" Morgan-Rowe
Producer who punches like Gary Waghorn. :-|

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Talent competition... 
Saturday, June 24, 2006, 10:31 PM
*Cue cheesy infomercial salesman's voice*

Do YOU want to show off your artwork for the whole world to view in awe? If so, send all of your original Max Payne: Payne & Redemption inspired wallpapers, posters and instant messaging display icons to info*at* All the best entries will be featured on the up-and-coming Fan Art section of this website.

Good luck!

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Your Majesty, I am waiting... 
Sunday, June 18, 2006, 08:14 PM
Next year, your Majesty, I fully expect and thoroughly intend to accept your offer of Knighthood. You see, it occurred to me recently that all I ever do is give, give, give, and it’s time high time for our matriarch to give something back! Alas, I must wait 'til next year for this honour, so I will continue this year in the same vein.

I am now happy to offer someone the opportunity to show off their Flash, HTML, animation and graphical skills, so if you have any experience in these fields and want to be given a world wide conduit, e-mail our webmaster at info*at*

Atrophically yours,

Luke "Jeff Garlin" Morgan-Rowe.
Producer with more bottle than Budweiser.

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CAST PHOTOS RELEASED! The Revolution will not be televised... 
Sunday, June 11, 2006, 12:58 AM
... it'll be on film! Well, on this blog really, but the blog is about a film, so it kind of works. Yes, I know, it's a bit like saying that you can drive the Top-Gear magazine, but as you may have gathered so far, I don't care.

As princes progress to kings, students to professors, corporals to generals, morons to directors and doctors to gods, I am in the process of revolution - no longer will I grace your desktop resolution with my rantings as Luke Morgan-Rowe, Executive Producer - from this day forth, I shall be Luke Morgan-Rowe, Producer.

'What's the difference?' I hear you say, 'Is it really a revolution? It sounds more like devolution - I mean, you've lost a word, and quite an important word too - executive sounds kinda powerful' Fair points. The change in title is something I requested, as really, the only difference is that I no longer have to wear a suit - which is better for the summer months.

In other news, our otherwise-unwell writer/director, Fergle Gibson, has been exercising his adobal talent and has created some stylised (I hate that word) photographics which appear to feature our actors in rather unpleasant, gritty situations - also, worryingly, they appear to have contracted some nasty disease that has decoloured their skin, and injected their eyes with some sort of stylistic colour. Weird.

*Click on the images to view the full-sized versions. As they are pop-ups, you will have to disable any pop-up blockers you have on your machine before you can view them.

Nigel Billing...
Det. Max Payne

John Mangan...
Dr. Clarence Volpé

Kylie Cushman...
Det. Jessica Logan

Well alas, Kumar & Clark have no mention of such a disease - so I reckon it's some poetic-license thing that these creative, la-di-da prissy sorts seem to be so keen on quoting - to me, it just seems like some excuse to come up with wacky, unrealistic plots, stories or images - damned fiction.

Anywho, I will finish by caressing your ears, gently allowing my words to flow through your veins, pierce through your heart, pollinate your lungs, crawl through your liver and seed in your brain.....

Good Bye.
Luke Morgan-Rowe.
Executive Producer.


Luke "Jeff Garlin" Morgan-Rowe.
Producer [in need of a psychiatrist].

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